Thursday, June 10, 2010

Thoughts on Motherhood- the third time

The third time is WAY easier than the first. I have so much less anxiety. Dealing with a newborn always is a little intimidating. They are so tiny. However, having done it twice- makes this time easier.

There are some things that are NOT easier, no matter how many times you've done them...  Engorgement, sleep depravation, seeing your post-prego body (ick). 

I've had a few ask if not knowing the gender helped with labor. Um, yes and no. It was motivating, but I don't think it made labor easier per say.

It was an amazing moment when she was born.
Words can't really describe it. Joy, relief, excitement...

There was an odd sense of adjustment after that- trying to wrap my mind around the fact that she really was a girl. I'd kind of prepared for a boy in my mind (mostly because I thought I'd heard my OB slip and call her a boy once during an ultrasound). I didn't make any girly things before her arrival- just gender neutral stuff. So I'm wanting to make it all more girly  now- but don't really have time.

We all have adjusted relatively well. Things are running pretty good. It's motivating to have people bringing us supper each night. Forces me to get my make-up on and pick up the house each day. She's sleeping well. We're having trouble with latching - ESPECIALLY if she's sleepy at all or if I'm especially full. This morning it took a FULL HOUR working with different holds and with and without a nipple shield to get a good latch and then finally nurse well. But then during most of the day she only takes a few minutes to find a good latch. Wishing the lactation consultant hadn't quit at the pediatricians office. I'd really rather not drag everyone to the hospital to see a lactation nurse. So hopefully we'll work it out soon. I should be a pro at this... 

The only time I broke down at all so far was I had this stifling thought of how different my life was going to be- really. My 4 1/2 yr old and almost 3 yr old are so self-sufficient most of the day. They play well together. They can wake up and watch cartoons by themselves for a little bit in the mornings- if I put their juice in cups in the fridge. They can dress themselves, go potty by themselves. I really just supervise for crazy stunts and get them food and engage in some imaginative play here and there. That is ALL changing. I'm not going to have time to myself like that anymore. That scared me a little. Remember what the crawling age was like and when you have to keep them from hurting themselves ALL day. sigh. It's a little overwhelming. But I just reminded myself that I only have to make it today. And today is pretty good. God will give me strength of mind and body for what lies ahead. Truth is I was feeling a little selfish. When I think of my children and new baby.... what joy is there that lies in them. What fun and excitement of things to come. I choose to embrace it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That picture is adorable! I can't believe how little Penelope was! :) ♥

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